why am I awake? it's not even eight, it's the first day all summer I've really been able to sleep in, and I've been awake for almost an hour. we were up till something ridiculous chain-watching supernatural. so naturally, I had supernatural dreams all night. the strange thing is, instead of cloaked soul-suckers and ax-yielding, serial-murderer ghosts, all I dreamt about was the angst (and a giant train set... thanks, superman).
I love the relationship between the brothers. how the older one - though he doesn't always show it - adores and would stop at nothing to protect the younger one. last night, my thought was, "I wish my big sister were like that." then I woke up an hour ago and realized... she is.
up until a couple years ago, I would have sworn that she hated me. actually hated me. but even though she was always bashing me around, she never let anyone else lay a hand on me. she has said some pretty nasty things to me. but there were a couple times when other kids made fun of me, and she was all over them in an instant. when she was done with them, they actually came to me and apologized. even when we played on the same soccer team, if someone knocked me down, I, in all my scrawniness, would go flying and pamela would start screaming from whereever she was that they better keep their hands off her little sister. then she would tell the coach to put her in at my position so she could take them out. always the great protector of the underdog, especially if the underdog was me.
and I'm just realizing this now? I wish I'd noticed ten years ago. I'm sorry, pam.