Saturday, January 27, 2007

out of respect for that sacred burp in life called childhood, we have been living in denial. but the truth is out. it's time the people of the world opened their eyes. it's time to face the facts.


santa clause is obese. the tooth fairy suffers from extreme short stature. and winnie the pooh is mentally ill. yes, that's right. according to the canadian medical association journal, the Hundred Acre Wood is full of Seriously Troubled Individuals.


tigger has a clear case of ADHD, hyperactivity-impulsivity subtype. piglet is failing to thrive and presents with generalized anxiety disorder. eeyore suffers from dysthymic disorder, which may have been precipitated by the traumatic amputation of his tail. special attention should be drawn to his housing problems, just as it should for owl, who, though highly intelligent, is also dyslexic. rabbit suffers from narcissistic personality disorder, and christopher robin from a childhood gender identity disorder. lack of parental supervision is to be noted in the case of the latter. winnie-the-pooh, a bear of Very Little Brain, displays borderline intellectual functioning. he is obese and prone to binge eating. psychiatric diagnoses of ADHD, inattentive subtype, and obsessive-compulsive disorder suggest he may benefit from low-dose methylphenidate.


click here for more information. as stated by the authors of the article, "the forest is not, in fact, a place of enchantment, but rather one of disenchantment, where neurodevelopmental and psychosocial problems go unrecognized and untreated. it is unfortunate that an Expotition was never Organdized to a Child Development Clinic."

2 comments:

kt said...

.....

there are no words.

no words at all.


(happy almost birthday).

actually, it reminds me of a online thingie that tracked satanist motifs in the narnia books-- {here}

kt said...

as promised: mr. gaiman's ruminations on birthdays:

{here}.