WOW. been ages since I last posted here. practically years.


this is due to me being kidnapped by aliens. seriously. it happened once before. this time, they took me aboard their ship. they put me in the engine room where, instead of an engine, there were a hundred cockroaches powering the shuttle by foot-pedal. I counted them. I was strapped to a small desk in the corner, given my choice of pens, and made to work on a literature review, day and night, for over a week. they let me stop for fifteen minutes once a day, when the cockroaches would bring me two pork sausages and a three-square-inch piece of flapjack.


they brought me home last night and offered to pay off my library balance and any outstanding traffic tickets I may have. I don't have any traffic tickets and my library balance is currently £0.00. that's what I told them, and they gave me a new pair of socks and two frozen banoffee pies instead.


so that's where I've been. writing a literature review. in an alien ship powered by cockroaches.


back to work...