I saw the Witch of the Waste today at the train station. I'm not even joking. Looked just like her. If they had designed that character after a real human, this lady would have been that human. She was hobbling down the platform giving cut-eye from under the rim of her hat to everyone and everything she passed. She stopped at the garbage bin, rummaged around a bit, then sat down on the bench next to me, unwrapped a plastic spoon, and started eating a chocolate ice cream that she'd pulled out of her pocket.

Then her chariot came screeching to a halt and she swooped into it and vanished into the distance. I was a bit disappointed. I wanted Christian Bale to come rescue me.