There are many words in the English language.  There are many words in other languages too.  Some I know.  Some I don’t.  A few I can pronounce.  Many I can’t spell. 
 
None adequately describe the hugeness of this bed.
 

Or the flatness of this TV.
 
 
Or the soapiness of this soap.
 
 
And none even come close to describing the uncontrollable elation I felt in cranking the heat up to a comfortable 25 C, sprawling across the exact centre of the bed, clicking on the TV, leisurely perusing all the channels, then falling asleep while flicking between the soccer match and National Treasure 2.
 
Really.  The elation was uncontrollable.  It was uncontrollable, at least, until I woke up the next morning and discovered the breakfast buffet.  The one that consisted of bacon and pancakes.  Other stuff too – eggs, hash browns, croissants, muffins, sausages, grilled tomatoes, baked beans, mushrooms, the whole lot - but that was accessory.  Bacon and pancakes.  It’s hard to say what happened to the elation at that point, because it entered another dimension and I kind of lost track of it.
 
What I didn’t lose track of was the lap of luxury, and that’s because my bum was firmly planted right on the middle of it.  Recall that I sleep in a bedroom with no door.  On a camp cot masquerading as a twin bed.  Fungus grows in my bathroom.  I have never, in my life, slept in a king-sized bed or had the opportunity to choose the channel on a hotel TV.
 
What I’m trying to say is that this past weekend, spent at a conference in Bowral that I received a scholarship to attend and was, therefore, totally, entirely, 100% free, was basically a transcendental experience for me.  I learned a few things about music research, but again, that was accessory.  By Sunday night, my toes were warm, my belly was full and my faith in mankind had been restored.
 
 
My backpack was also filled with mini shampoo bottles, which I decided to hold onto as a token of my appreciation.