a well-documented phenomenon of cognition says that when trying to commit large chunks of information to memory, a person will best remember things presented first and last, and the particularly salient things in between. students, for example, tend to remember announcements and jokes better than testable lecture material. alas, I share their fate. this is what I've gotten out of classes:


I don't mind if you sleep in my class. I used to sleep through all my classes. if you're reading a newspaper or something, that bothers me. but sleeping just befalls you; it's not your fault. [bioethics prof]


most of you haven't taken philosophy before, have you? [philosophy of religion prof, about to return first assignment]


corollary discharge theory. sounds like an STD. [perception prof]


you're on my horopter. ohhh, that sounds dirty! [perception prof]


u of t students study too much. go out and party! [human development prof]


this is one of my favourite topics. you know what that means. you'll find it tedious and it'll be on the exam. [psycholinguistics prof]


skinner - this guy was, like, totally hardcore. [learning prof]


I think it needs an epidural. [neurophysiology prof, trying to fix broken projector]


I am God. [stats prof, stated repeatedly]